Please don’t tell me I am the only one who sits on a toilet more than the average amount of time that is acceptable and ponders about life questions. If it would be up to me, I would make any decision on the toilet. Don’t know man, it just feels so inspiring. It might be because of the position or that you are working towards something, but that’s how my ideas start to flow. To be honest most of my ideas come in the mornings (way too early mornings if you’re going to ask me) on the toilet.
This Sunday it was more like a rant itself. I just sat there waiting… and waiting for the ideas, you know, to flow. So what did I do, you might ask? Well, I took my phone, checked Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Nothing. There was absolute silence. Now, normally the voices in my head – wow that sounds bad. I promise I am not crazy by the way – they start having a conversation regarding Schnitzel I had dreamed of, or stuff that I just saw on the morning news. By the way, did you ever wonder when the news broadcasters wake up? Or do they ever go to sleep? By this time I was ready. But my System was not, point in which I decided to think happy thoughts, like:
So, after 25 minutes of sitting there, my feet got numb and I decided to give up. When to the kitchen and wanted to make a coffee. Usually, I am too lazy to make coffee but this time I said to myself you know what? Sometimes my System, let’s call it my System, needs a push. A little help from a friend. So I decided to make the coffee extra strong. You know what I mean, the bullet coffee. You take a sip and need to go instantly to the toilet. So, I took my french press and set the kettle on. Whilst I was waiting for the water to boil, I started to think of who was the genius who designed the British Houses. Who in their right mind, would make a huge bedroom, a huge living room but a tiny kitchen and a tiny bathroom? What should a foreigner understand from this? British never cook and never need too much space to take a shower? Hmmm, maybe that’s why most of them are really tall and really skinny.
The Kettle was already boiling and I added the water to the coffee. I took a spoon and starting stirring the ingredients as if I was a witch. Looking in the French Press, smelling the fresh and strong smell of coffee I started to think of who named the spoon a spoon? And why is the spoon not a fork? Is it because the fork forks and the spoon spoons? Naaah, that’s just stupid. I took my coffee and went back on my couch and then I started looking into the TV Programme. It was Sunday so nothing much was happening. Oh well, I shall take my inspiration from somewhere else. But then I started to pack my things to go to the gym. Yep, this was me giving up. And man it sucked. But this is a recurrent thing and I am pretty sure not the only one who has an issue with this. But at least I had a good work out and I never thought that I would ever be writing/ranting about when the toilet isn’t working its magic
mihairants 